This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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