A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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