hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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