Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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