i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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