I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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