Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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