You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize