i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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