I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
