8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will pee on everything he values.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
