Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Im part way to drunk.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
