so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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