I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
