I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
