I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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