Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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