saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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