I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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