After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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