dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i permit you to call me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
