what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
