from now on my penis is your penis
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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