is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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