you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
