They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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