I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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