i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
