Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
