what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
