I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
