He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
