Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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