I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
