They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
