Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
