My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need to calm my uterus...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
