New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
