adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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