I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
