That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
