Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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