it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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