I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
