Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
