Non-Jews are for practice
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
