So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
