we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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