butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
