Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
