In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
