I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize