you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
