those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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