hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
