I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
