Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
