Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
