so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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