if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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