Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
