Having a random hookup so left but love u
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
